


i ka nānā nō a ‘ike (by observing, one learns)

by DreamBrother



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e06 Kupouli 'la (Broken), Episode: s06e09 Hana Keaka (Charade), First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, POV Steve McGarrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamBrother/pseuds/DreamBrother
Summary: “Hey, Danny. How'd it take me four years to learn that about you?”“I don't know. Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me.”Never again would Danny have a reason or just cause to repeat those words to him. Steve was going to make sure of it.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 49
Kudos: 389





	i ka nānā nō a ‘ike (by observing, one learns)

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the longest I've gone since I started writing again in March without posting anything. Work is now on break, and things being as they are in the UK, I'm hoping writing for this fandom will keep me sane as I'll have no work to distract me. 
> 
> This story entered my head on Friday due to this [gifset](https://obscureh50posts.tumblr.com/post/622481207370858496/this-just-in-grandpa-may-as-well-be-the-least) on Tumblr. Thank you these two sites for the transcripts: https://subslikescript.com/series/Hawaii_Five-0-1600194 and https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewforum.php?f=426. 
> 
> A big thanks also to the H50 Big Bang 2020 Discord, where word sprints got me to writing almost 10,000 in 36 hours! I hope you enjoy this fic.

_“I can't go. I can't do it. Sorry.”_

_“Can't do what?”_

_“I can't do, uh, caves or tunnels or, uh, cramped spaces. Anything where I feel like a... like a rat. I can't.”_

_“You claustrophobic?”_

_“A little bit, yeah.”_

_“Okay. Well, uh, wait here.”_

_“Okay. I'm sorry. I just... I can't.”_

_“No, it's... I mean, what are you gonna do, right?”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“Hey, Danny. How'd it take me four years to learn that about you?”_

_“I don't know. Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me.”_

**Kupouli 'la (Broken) (4x06)**

* * *

_Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me._

The words don't sit right with Steve from the moment they’re said, to the point where Steve can't even come up with a response at the time, he simply looks at Danny for a few more moments. His partner, who has had his back since day one, has run a dark op to _North Korea_ to get Steve home safe, but here he is, admitting that this is where he draws the line. That his fear of small, tight spaces prevents him from having Steve's back when Steve can’t even begin to _count_ the number of times Danny would have been justified in telling Steve that he wouldn’t have his back, that Steve would be going forward with his crazy, near-suicidal plan alone. The same Danny who had once walked into the open to draw the fire of a sniper because he thought Steve’s plan was going to get him killed. 

But it's a dark tunnel that is Danny's kryptonite. That tells Steve something new about his partner. Something that took four years and the luck of circumstance to bring to light. He didn't even want to begin to think about how many years this little fact about Danny would have gone unlearnt had they never come across dark and cramped tunnels in their investigations. It's the first time it's happened in four years, how many more years might Steve have gone not knowing, were it not for today?

How could Steve not have known? 

_Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me._

What utter bullshit. 

It doesn't even enter into Steve's mind to make a joke out of it, or mock Danny for it. Not when his confident, self-assured badass of a partner is looking at Steve with a smile more akin to a grimace on his face, as though waiting for Steve to demand Danny follow him into the tunnel, to pull out the benevolent dictator/commander card. It's the 'sorry' that really gets to Steve though, the second sorry in fact. That Danny is _apologizing_ for his fear, a fear so debilitating that it is preventing Danny from doing something that bombs, guns, and even the risk of never seeing his daughter again haven't done in the past. 

And to then have Danny thank him when Steve tells him to wait outside. It makes him want to sit Danny down, whip out a pad of paper and pen, and get him to list all of the people who made Danny feel like shit about this fear, to the point where Danny is sincerely thanking his partner for not forcing him into a situation that frightens him enough to leave his partner without backup. 

Or perhaps the only name Steve should be writing down is his. He still hasn't forgotten the time, early on in their partnership, when Danny had shown up at work with a cane, saying his ACL was acting up, only for Steve to tell him to stop bitching about his boo-boo. He had felt a bit bad for his words later on that day, the shame only growing as more time passed and he got to know Danny better, his exposure to the man, as well as the other members of Five-O gradually loosening the SEAL mindset a bit, allowing him to become a bit more human again. He has never apologized for it, he doesn't think Danny even remembers that throwaway comment, but he hoped his actions since then, whenever Danny or any of the team get injured, reveal that he wouldn't be so callous ever again in the face of their pain, be it physical or mental.

And yet Danny still hadn't told him - his partner, his best friend - about his claustrophobia. 

_Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me._

Steve is professional enough that he puts Danny's words to the back of his mind for the rest of the case and they carry on as usual. 

Except when it's all over, the case is wrapped up and Danny has gone home to spend the evening with Grace and Catherine is asleep in their bed, Steve sneaks down to the study in the dark of night, grabbing a blank notebook that he doesn't even remember buying, so it may well be his dad's or his mom's from God knows when, grabs a pen and makes his way down to the shore. The moon is bright enough, the light reflecting off the ocean, to give Steve enough illumination under which to write in big words across the first page:

DANNO

Then, the next few pages, he labels them as the index after which he painstakingly numbers every other page, a quick scrawl on the bottom right-hand corner that is half a legible number, half a process of deduction to know what has been written. 

Then, tapping the pen against his bottom lip for a few moments, he turns back to the first blank double-page spread after the index pages and starts writing in big letters, titles that spread across the top of the page, clear headlines. 

Basic

Grace

Family

Education

Career

Health

On and on the categories grow. When Steve runs out of the standard ones that could fit any person, he starts adding categories that would not be easily found in a personnel file. 

Likes

Dislikes (he allocates four pages for this)

Favorites

Injuries

Fears

When he runs out of categories, he goes back to the index page and starts listing them in order, writing the page number next to it. Such as Favourite Foods is on page 32, Most Hated Sports Teams on page 44. 

Once the index is as up to date as he can handle, he turns to page 24. Fears. 

The first bullet point he adds:

  * Claustrophobia. Reason: unknown. 



Then he adds:

  * Open water. Reason: childhood best friend lost to riptide. 



He doesn't bother adding the fear of losing Grace to the list because even an idiot off the streets who has met Danny and knows about Grace in theory would know that the deepest fear in Danny's heart, the one that keeps him up at night, is losing his daughter. Instead, he adds: 

  * Rick Petersen getting out of prison. 



Except Steve puts an asterisk next to Petersen's name because this is a fear that Danny will never have to worry about coming to haunt him because Steve will make sure of it. With all his skills, connections, and favors, Steve has basically ensured that Petersen will _never_ be a free man, and whatever length of time he serves in person, however long he survives, it's going to be deeply unpleasant. 

And so on and on it goes, the black pen scribbling over the pages, filling in whatever comes into Steve's mind for each category. He uses shorthand where possible because he knows otherwise he will run out of space too quickly. 

Basics like Danny's birthday, place of birth, education, and training are easy to fill in - he has known all this about Danny from the very start of Five-O. The first thing he had done after swearing an oath to Governor Jameson on the phone in his father's garage as Danny glared at him had been to take his father's toolbox and then drive straight over to HPD where he had demanded Captain Tanaka hand over Danny's personnel file. A quick glance and Steve had made another call, and less than an hour later he was hammering his fist on Danny's apartment door telling him in no certain terms that Danny was to be his partner in Five-O with the authorization of the governor, and that they were going to get along great. 

But other things, it's been like pulling teeth with Danny. Although he had known from day one that Danny didn't like the beach, it took over two years and a boat trip gone wrong for Danny to finally tell him about the drowning of Billy Selway to explain his fear of the sea. 

Because that was another thing it had taken him a while to learn - whilst Danny could not be described as a quiet man who kept his opinions hidden on anything, be it an innocent golden fruit to the driving ability of his highly trained partner, he was not the most open with the things that mattered. A classic case of it wasn't what Danny said that you had to listen for, but what he didn't say. 

Steve had allowed himself to be fooled by his partner's obfuscation far too long. No more. Not when it took him four whole years to learn of another one of his partner's deepest fears. Steve refused to be caught out like that again. 

_Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me._

Fuck that. Steve never made the same mistake twice. Never again would Danny have the right to say those words to him.

Flexing his cramping hand after what must have been a solid hour of scribbling into the notebook, Steve stood up and made his way back to the house, a plan of action in place. 

* * *

Steve starts simply. The next day when he is at the office and the reports from the last case have been filed and his phone hasn't rung to tell him of a new case demanding his attention, Steve goes to his filing cabinet and pulls out the folders containing his team's records. The blinds are open and he knows anyone can just walk in with a cursory knock, most of all Danny because the man is a bundle of energy who can't keep still on paperwork days if he doesn't have Grace to pick up after school. But his team would hardly look over his shoulder to see what files he has open and even if they spot their names on the files, he can always use the excuse that he is sorting out that year's performance review. 

So he flips through Danny's file, double-checking that the information he scribbled into the notebook last night is accurate and he hasn't missed anything. 

Unsurprisingly to Steve, there is nothing in Danny's file that he doesn't already know, and even when going through the various psychs evals Danny's had over the years to ensure he can remain a member of the police force and then Five-O make no mention of his claustrophobia, which suggests that for the most part Danny has either never had to face it or, knowing his partner, pushed through it somehow when it was needed to get the job done, because yesterday may have been the first time Steve and Danny had been required to go into a tunnel during a case, but Steve doubts Danny could have avoided it all these years. 

It helps ease Steve's feelings a bit. That maybe Danny had felt comfortable enough voicing his fear to Steve yesterday because he believed enough in Steve's abilities to do without backup for the time it took him to see if a suspect was hiding in the tunnels. Considering how anal Danny has been since day one over Steve calling for backup only to be told that Danny is the only backup Steve needs, Steve knows how hard it must have been for his partner to let Steve go somewhere where he could not follow. 

It's only as he is glancing past the part of the file which lists Danny's educational record that something makes him pause. Nothing truly stands out - he already knows that Danny studied in New Jersey, went to Seton Hall on a baseball scholarship majoring in criminal justice, after which he applied for the police academy, was accepted, passed with flying colors, walked the beat, did his time through the ranks but rising swiftly to be one of the youngest to be given the rank of Detective in NJPD. Steve's lip curls in distaste as he remembers who Danny's training partner was, wishing he had known from the start that Danny had been responsible for putting the man in prison, but it's too late now to beat himself up over that when the damage was already done two years ago, and thankfully Grace seems to have put the traumatic incident firmly behind her. He also knows the story behind Gracie's name, the tragic killing of Danny's partner on September 11th, a day that every year Steve tries to keep Danny busy during, if not with a case then annoying him and needling him into going for an intense day-long hike to take his mind off things. 

So it's not the lack of mention of Petersen or Grace Tilwell that gives Steve pause, and for a few minutes, even he doesn't know what's bugging him when everything seems to be in place. 

His thoughts are interrupted by an annoyed rap-rap on his door that has him looking up, careful not to look guilty by shoving Danny's file into a desk drawer when the man himself is leaning against the doorway. 

"What's up? You hungry already?" Steve asks. 

"No I am not hungry. Unlike you, I _don't_ start off my mornings with a five-mile swim and a three-mile run so unlike you I _don't_ need to eat every hour." Danny moves away from the doorway and to Steve's relief chooses instead to throw himself into the chair opposite Steve as opposed to planting his ass on the desk which would have given him an unobstructed view of his open personnel file. 

"Then why are you gracing me with your presence?" 

"That's exactly it. Grace."

"Grace?" Steve frowned. He knew Danny had Grace at his for the past few days, the three of them had plans to have dinner tonight. "What about her, she okay?" 

"Oh yeah, she's fine. Never been better."

"Then what's the problem?" 

"The problem is that last night, I didn't have any toilet paper left in my house even though I bought a nine-pack last week."

"No toi- oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"So Grace was the vandal? Why would she TP her own house?"

"Her 'friends' put her up to it.” Steve snorted as Danny crooked his fingers to denote the quotation marks, a clear indication of what he thought about these alleged friends of his daughter. “But she thought it would be ‘mean’ to TP someone else's house so she did ours."

Steve couldn't suppress the smile that took over his face. "Sometimes I wonder how she's your kid," he needles Danny deliberately when it couldn't be further from the truth. He remembers the story Matt Williams had told them over surf and turf of how little Danny had handcuffed his own brother for causing a disturbance at the zoo, a mini-policeman even when he was barely in double-digits, so he had no doubt that Danny's progeny would be as steadfast and a stickler for rules and fairness as Danny himself. But he could hardly let his partner know that. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" His partner said, crossing his arms and looking cross. 

"Nothing. Just tell Grace to TP my house next year. We can work on her aim and throwing ability too," Steve suggested as he closed the files in front of him and shoved them into a drawer. "Let's go."

"Go? Go where? We don't have a case," Danny said even though he stood up and moved towards the door. 

"We are going to get you some toilet paper and me a juice. Come on, there's a mini-mart next to that juice bar I like on Kalihi."

"You're gonna get something green and disgusting, aren't you?"

"If by green and disgusting you mean healthy and nutritious, then yes." 

Danny's rant over how drinking something that even cows would turn away from follows them all the way to the juice bar as Steve makes a mental note to add 'green juices' to the Dislikes page in the Danno book later that night. 

* * *

It becomes a habit. On the nights when Steve doesn't immediately collapse naked on top of his bed covers with hair still wet from the shower when he gets home, he will decompress before bed by taking the notebook out from its current hiding place. Grabbing a black biro from his father's desk and a beer from the fridge, he'll then wander out down to the shore and scribble in the book, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for an hour. On evenings when the weather is bad, he'll sit at the dining table, a cup of chamomile tea growing tepid as he writes.

He only does it on nights when he is alone in the house. If Danny is over, with or without the team, with or without Grace, he waits until the other man has left. When Cath was still living with him, he'd wait until she'd fall asleep and then creep out of bed. On those nights, he would sit at his father's desk and spend as long as he wanted scribbling under the lamplight, knowing that even if he spent too much time out of bed, Cath wouldn't notice and come looking for him.

His time with the book is … soothing. It allows him to think back over the day and analyze his interactions with the partner, forcing him to pay close attention to every tiny detail, compare it with what he already knows, and add any new relevant information to the notebook. It takes him away from the grief of the day, the tragedies in the case, the blood shed or the families broken, and focus instead on the one constant he has come to rely on - his partner, by his side, watching his back, day in, day out. 

The days or weeks when Danny is off, or away in Jersey visiting family, become harder and harder to deal with. Too used to a blond Jersey man at his back, he begins to miss writing into the notebook at night on those evenings when he has had no interactions with Danny to reflect on and analyze. One time after a week of no time with Danny, Steve starts looking further afield. 

Thanks to Eric sending what he thought was an embarrassing photo of his uncle to everyone in Danny's address book, he already knows that Danny used to box when he was younger, but what he doesn't know is if Danny kept up the habit. There is no doubt that his partner is in excellent physical shape, able to keep up with running after a Navy SEAL whose own exercise regimen is nothing to laugh at. So he already knows Danny uses the small gym at the Palace, and a rough idea of when he goes there and what he does, along with some days off spent surfing with Kono or hiking with Steve. But he doesn't know if Danny has kept up his boxing on the down-low. So one morning he heads into the office early and puts his computer skills to good use, only slightly abusing the power, privilege, and resources at his command to look into the membership rosters at various boxing clubs in Oahu, feeling a tiny burst of pride when he sees one Daniel Williams signed up to the Pearlside boxing gym in Kapolei for the unlimited package, allowing him as many visits as he likes, including 24-hour access to the gym and equipment. 

But he doesn't stop there. The more members of Danny's family he meets, most especially when Clara Williams comes to town, he always tries to get some alone time with them so he can forge a connection. With that in place, he is able to then call up Clara directly and under the guise of surprising Danny, or giving him an embarrassing birthday card or whatever excuse that works, he gains access to Danny's photos growing up, stories of what he was like as a child, as a teenager, as a young man. 

Danny as a married man is harder. He has no desire to forge a friendship with the woman who broke Danny's heart and left him for another man whilst also forcing him to fight for every single hour he gets to spend with his little girl. So he holds himself back, settles for keeping an ear open for whatever morsel of information Danny sometimes drops into the conversation from his past in Jersey, usually when Rachel has annoyed him by changing his time with Grace.

However, the best source of information on Danny is Danny himself but unfortunately, the most useful insights into Danny's person comes about during moments of severe duress and a threat to life, usually Danny's. Learning about his murdered partner, Grace Tilwell, whilst in the sight of a dirty bomb. The story of his best friend drowning when they were in a leaking dinghy surrounded by sharks. Learning that when he feels claustrophobic, telling him to take a deep breath is a bad idea; instead, Danny can keep himself relatively calm by reciting the lineup of the '86 Mets team, all whilst three hundred tonnes of steel and concrete are crushing him. 

And it's only because of those three hundred tonnes of concrete and steel blocking Steve and Danny from freedom and fresh air, after Steve has had to pull a rebar from his partner's side and doused the wound with peroxide to try and prevent sepsis does Steve get a glimpse of just how dark Danny's mind can go. 

_"There is something wrong with the way that I am built. I-I can't, uh... I can't just enjoy happiness like regular people, you know?"_

_"You don't think you're being a little hard on yourself?"_

_"No, I don't. When I was a kid, my parents would go out to eat dinner. If they were late coming home, I used to imagine that they died in a car wreck, just 'cause they were 15 minutes late. And I used to talk to God and beg him. I said, "Please just take my dad, not my mom. 'Cause I couldn't live without my mom. I mean, every time something good happens in my life, I-I just... I think of when it's gonna end. That's all I can think about."_

_"You for real?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"That's not normal."_

_"I know it's not normal. Listen to this. On my wedding day, I'm looking at Rachel, just about to say ‘I do.’ And all I can see is the day she's gonna serve me with divorce papers. No joke. And I... I don't know, man. The only sustained happiness I ever felt in my life so far is Grace. And, you know, it's just a matter of time before she turns 18, and then she's out the door and she marries some schmuck."_

Steve had only been able to look at his partner open-mouthed as his fears and dark thoughts spewed out. He already knew from very early on that Danny was not a fan of risks, always worried that he'd fall on the wrong side of the equation. It's why he was always after Steve about his driving, after Grace when she wanted to learn how to surf, after Kono when she showed too many McGarrett-like traits. But he had never quite truly known the depths of Danny's ability to turn every little thing into a catastrophe in his head until that moment. 

Aside from feeling his heart break a little at how much Danny's mind puts him through, how hard it is for his partner to feel a sense of untainted happiness beyond fleeting moments here and there, it also increases his sense of awe. He had already known that Danny and fear were not friends; where Steve saw it as a state of mind to overcome no matter what the situation, Danny saw it as a friend telling him to not do things. Which made Steve even more amazed that despite Danny's fears, he had never had to doubt that the other man would follow him into any and every dangerous situation that arose, whether because of the job or Steve's fucked up family situation. He hadn’t quite known the full extent of the obstacles that his partner scaled every single day on the job in order to have his back. 

Except that tunnel. Because Steve had known Danny for four years up till that point and never noticed his partner was claustrophobic.

_Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me._

It's a slow process, learning everything he can about Danny. When they'd first met, Danny had been 34 years old, so Steve has 33 years of information to catch up on, and he likes to think he has done pretty well. Starting from the day that Steve first cracks open the notebook and begins collating everything he knows, and more importantly what he doesn't yet know, about his partner, he gives himself one year to fill in the gaps on everything that he has missed out on. 

Their life changes massively in that time. Steve is taken prisoner by Wo Fat and fed a cocktail of drugs and lies and half-truth until it comes to an end with a bullet in Wo Fat’s head and a graze on Steve’s. Danny's brother is killed by Reyes and stuffed into an oil drum resulting in Steve learning what grief looks like on his partner's face, something he could have gone his whole life without learning. He learns how it feels when Danny is taken from him and put in a Colombian prison; not only the lengths he would go to to get his partner back, but the knowledge that his partner would sign an extradition paper that was essentially his own death warrant to protect Steve from the fall out of Danny's killing of Marcus Reyes. 

Girlfriends also come and go. Amber becomes Melissa who becomes a faded memory who appears less and less in Danny’s plans outside of work. Catherine disappears yet again, choosing the CIA over Steve, and the ring he had bought with which to propose gets hidden in his underwear drawer, out of sight and mind. 

And a little boy called Charlie joins Grace to become the center of Danny's world, and Steve gets a glimpse of what Danny himself might have been like as a little boy. Those blue eyes, shy smile and a head full of sunshine are a window to Danny's early years, and Steve has to inhale sharply when Clara sends him a photo of a five-year-old Danny, which could easily have been a photo of Charlie except for the quality of the photograph and the location. It's that photo of Danny that serves as a bookmark in the notebook.

Which, by this point, has seen a lot of wear and tear. Despite Steve writing in a minuscule font which flirts with the edges of legibility, the number of pages in the book is finite and Steve's thirst for knowledge, infinite. So one weekend when the ohana is busy and Danny has taken the kids to Jersey to visit their grandparents, introducing Charlie to the east side clan for the first time, Steve loads up YouTube and gets learning. 

By the end of the Saturday, Steve is fairly proud of his first attempt at bookbinding. He finds paper the same size, quality, and color as the one in the notebook, glad for his parent's decision to spend that little bit extra on good quality products. He removes the tattered cover, and carefully threads blue thread, a color which reminds him of Danny, through each page, adding more blank pages in folios of eight until the number of pages is doubled. He then cuts some fabric from an old t-shirt to glue to the spines before cutting a rectangle from black leather that he had purchased to form the cover.

Except now he’s had a taste of the craft and by Sunday evening when he has to leave for the airport to pick up Danny and the kids, the desk has three new bound leather books, a different fabric interior cover in each for Grace, Danny and Nahele, and ideas for what to use for notebooks for Kono, Chin, Lou, and Max. 

What’s hardest in all this is not finding out new information about Danny, but hiding from Danny all this new information. He’s careful to not slip by inadvertently revealing a nugget of information about the man that he hasn’t been told directly by the blond himself. It all comes to a head two years after Steve begins his mission and as usual, it’s because lives are on the line. 

They’re investigating the murder of Professor Thomas, an unpopular economics professor at the Oahu State University, and the team is gathered around the tech table wishing they had a way of getting the fingerprints of all the students in the professor’s class. 

“I don't suppose we can just head down to campus and fingerprint all of his students?” Chin suggests. 

“Maybe we can,” Steve replies before he can second-guess what he’s about to reveal.

“How?”

“Well, it seems to me that there's now an opening for a new economics professor at OSU, and it just so happens that one of our own minored in business at Seton Hall.” Steve resists the urge to look directly at Danny as he says this. It’s information that is hard-earned, as he’d finally figured out what had bothered him about Danny’s educational history in his file, triggered by Lou discussing what minors Samantha had been considering studying at college. By that point, he’d long inculcated the habit of comparing the Danny file in his mind every time someone in their ohana mentioned new information about themselves or others. If Kono mentioned a childhood injury, Steve listed Danny’s childhood injuries in his mind. If Chin mentioned the make and model of his first motorcycle, Steve asked himself if he knew the make and model of Danny’s first vehicle and if he didn’t, it was a fairly innocuous topic to bring up with the other man as they drove from one crime scene to another. 

But they’d never discussed Danny’s college degree, especially as technically Danny’s major was declared in his file. It had been a case of Steve offering Toast a bag of lollipops for him to hack into Seton Hall’s student records to get all of Danny’s transcripts, only to discover that Danny was far more of a geek than he had allowed others to observe. 

“How could you possibly know that? That's not even in my personnel file,” Danny says, twisting his body to look at Steve, genuine surprise in his voice. 

“You think I'm gonna take you on, to be my partner, this whole time, without doing my homework?” Steve challenges, hoping to irk his partner enough that Danny doesn’t delve too deep on what Steve knows, and how he knows it. 

“Wait. Boss, you've been sitting on that for six years?” Kono interrupts, a disbelieving yet amused smile on her face as she raises an eyebrow at him. Steve shrugs. The more accurate time scale would be one year, ten months, and 22 days, but it wouldn’t hurt his street cred as a leader if they think he’s known this from the very start of Five-O. 

“That means he's probably got something on all of us,” Lou grumbles, causing Steve to rub his thumb across his nose. It hasn’t passed him by that he knows more about Danny than any other person in his life, even when he was considering proposing to Catherine. But he does know more about the whole Five-O team than they’re probably aware of, he wasn’t lying when he said he’d done his homework on all his teammates, but whereas he may have a Bachelor’s in knowing the rest of Five-O, at this point he had a Ph.D. in Danny D. Williams. 

But the spout has been opened, and he can’t resist when another opportunity presents itself later on. 

“You know, teaching is not so bad. If I ever get maimed in the line of duty because of some stupid stunt that you pull, I have a fallback which is nice,” his partner says as they walk back into the office at the end of the case, just paperwork waiting for them on the desk causing them to take the long route back to HQ. It’s taking up a greater proportion of Steve’s willpower to not reach over and loosen the tie that is still around Danny’s neck from his day spent pretending to be a professor, too much of a reminder of the first year of the task force when Danny was still chomping at the bit to bundle up Rachel and Grace and move them back to Jersey and leave Steve high and dry without him. 

“A good fallback is very important,” Steve agrees, even as he promises himself that his actions will never cause Danny to leave the job or Hawaii, not if he still has breath in his body. 

“You got a fallback?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“Balloon artist,” says Steve, knowing that it’ll serve the dual purpose of throwing Danny off, and allow him to not freak his partner out by telling him that Steve has never considered a fallback career but he always thought he’d die on the job. 

“I’m being serious,” his partner replies and Steve only feels a little bit bad for his flippant answer, but he’s in too deep now, he’s committed to this. 

“What, you think I’m not being serious?” Steve challenges, because if he’s going to annoy Danny, he may as well go full throttle. “There’s money, man. Kids parties, farmer markets, it’s a circuit.”

“You’re being a jerk, I’m being serious. I was asking you a real question,” Danny says, with that tone that makes Steve feel a little bit like a tool so he does what he does best: he flips Danny’s mood with a few carefully chosen words. 

“You know what? Someone’s not gonna get the giraffe I was gonna make ‘im.”

“I love gira- my favorite animal’s a giraffe, how’d you know that? Huh?” The smile in Danny’s voice is so clear that Steve doesn’t even bother to look back as his partner stops in his tracks in surprise. 

It had been the work of a moment to find out Danny’s favorite animal. He’d picked Charlie up from school and taken him for shave ice while they waited for Danny to get done with court, and conversation had turned to Charlie’s favorite animal at the moment, and how it was a giraffe, just like his Danno’s. In the time it had taken Steve to finish his own shave ice, he’d also learned that every giraffe had different spots and that one day when Charlie was older Danno was going to take him to this one hotel in Kenya where you could hang out with giraffes all day and would Uncle Steve like to come too?

“I know everything about you,” Steve replies with a smirk as he heads to his office. If only Danny knew the extent of the truth in Steve’s words. 

“I love a giraffe!” Danny’s exclamation follows Steve as he closes his office door behind him only to boot up his laptop and order a large stuffed giraffe on Amazon that will be delivered to Danny’s office in two days’ time without a note. 

* * *

Except Steve’s secret was never going to remain hidden forever, not when he worked with a team of superb investigators whose day job was noticing tiny details, and especially not when he’d revealed that he knew a lot more about them, and Danny especially, that they’d imagined. 

It starts off as a normal evening of post-work drinks and food at Kamkona’s shrimp truck on a Friday evening a few weeks after the case of the murdered economics professor. The sunset is casting orange rays over the horizon, and Steve is surrounded by the people who know him best. He couldn’t ever have fathomed, that day in the garage when he swore an oath to the governor, that six years later he’d be laughing and sharing jokes with some of the best people he has ever known, who he’d trust to watch his back a hundred times over. 

But unlike the Navy where the chain of command was clear and never broken, and superior officers were treated with the utmost of respect, there is a person on this team whom he has chosen, whom he has trained, who is clearly up to no good if the wicked smile she shoots Steve during a lull in the conversation is anything to go by. 

“So, gentleman, I propose a new game,” Kono announces, tapping her fingernail against her beer bottle. 

“Oh God, I’m sensing the hangover already,” Danny mutters, his shoulders pressing into Steve’s side. 

“Let’s hear it, Kalakaua,” Steve replies, ever the encouraging leader as he nudges Danny back in an unconscious gesture, wordlessly warning him to not ruin Kono’s fun even as his own sense of apprehension grows. 

“Hold on, I need to get something from my car for this,” Kono replies as she hops up and runs over to where their cars are parked. 

“I don’t know who to call,” Danny says as he watches Kono reach into the backseat of her car, only her butt and dangling legs visible out of the open window in her car because of course why would she choose the easy option of just opening the door. 

“Hmm?”

“The hospitals or the tattoo parlors. Because whatever she’s got planned, I think it involves some of us getting blackout drunk and ending up in either one of those two places. And with you, either option is equally likely.”

“I got all my tattoos sober,” Steve replies. 

“I’ve seen that tramp stamp babe, maybe don’t admit that you got that compos mentis.”

Steve glares at Lou, Chin, and Max when they snicker at Danny’s comment but any response from him is lost when Kono returns to the table, his confusion growing when he sees two board markers and two A4 sized objects in her hands which turn out to be mini-whiteboards.

“We playing dirty Pictionary, cuz?” Chin asks even as Kono sets the items down on the table in between them even as Kamekona wanders up to them with seconds of the garlic shrimp. 

“Not quite. I was at my friend Henrietta’s bridal shower last week and we played a game and I thought of us.” This time it was Steve pressing closer to Danny in apprehension even as the blond detective nudged him with his knee under the table. 

“I’m telling you now, girlie, I ain’t stripping in public, only Renee gets to see these goods,” Lou warned. 

“Don’t worry, no nudity involved. Anyway, do you guys remember that case a few weeks ago when Danny went undercover?” When all the men nodded, Kono continued. “Well, it seems like boss-man here has done his homework, so you know those games where the bride and groom have to answer questions to see how well they know the other? How about we get Steve to answer questions about Danny and we bet on whether he’ll get it right or wrong?”

“What kinda questions?” Danny asks even as he shoots Steve an odd look. 

Kono shrugs. “We can make it up ourselves, everyone can have a go asking, but nothing too crazy like how many hairs are on your head. Standard questions, like favourite color, first pet type stuff. You game, boss?”

“What do I get out of this?” Steve asks, even as he wonders the last time Kono was in his house and if she could have stumbled across the Danno notebook when he wasn’t in the room. He doubts it because he’s a master at hiding things, but then Kono has surprised him since day one. 

“How about for every question you get right, the person asking buys you a drink?” 

“And if, hypothetically speaking, I don’t get it right?” Steve’s question causes Danny to snort. “What?”

“You’re joking, right? You really think you’ll be able to answer whatever question they ask you about me?” 

Steve pauses for a second, letting the tension build. “Yes,” he finally says with a decisive nod. 

“You’re a lunatic. There’s no way.” 

“Fine, put your money where your mouth is. If I get ten questions right, you give me a hundred dollars. And if I get,” Steve moves his shoulders up and down as though his body is a set of scales, “three questions wrong, out of ten, I’ll give you a hundred dollars. And I’ll buy a drink for whoever asks me a question I don’t get right.”

“Oh, you are on, buddy,” Danny says with a grin. “Guys, save the date, the one day of the year when cheapass McGarrett will have to open up his wallet and actually part with some cash for once.”

“He hasn’t lost yet, bruddah,” Kamekona says.

“Yeah, I actually think the odds are in Steve’s favor, brah,” Chin adds with a smile even as he hands Danny and Steve a whiteboard and board marker each, causing Steve to also wonder the last time Chin was in his house unsupervised. 

“Hey, no going easy on him, I have the right to veto the questions if they’re too obvious, okay?” Danny argues, pointing a finger at each one of them.

“That’s fair. Okay, come on, who’s going first?” Kono asks. 

“As the proprietor of this place of business, I would like to start the proceedings,” announces Kamekona, cracking his knuckles together causing the Five-O and Max team to wince. “Okay. Question number one: out of the ten staple menu items at my shrimp truck, which one has Danny never ordered?”

The whole team laughs, including Danny, but their laughter fades when there is no protest from Steve who simply uncaps the board marker with his teeth and starts scribbling on the board. 

“Danny, you have to put down the answer too, so it’s obvious you didn’t change your mind,” Kono nudges, causing the blond man to sigh and start writing on his own whiteboard. Both men have shifted in their seats so they are back to back to prevent any accusations of cheating. 

“Alright, and reveal in one, two, and three,” Kamekona counts down, his fist coming to bang on the table when Danny and Steve reveal the whiteboards before he gets up to grab more drinks for the table, including a free beer for McGarrett because:

_Grits,_ says Danny’s whiteboard. 

_Shrimp with Grits_ , says Steve’s whiteboard. 

Steve smiles when Danny twists around to have a look at Steve’s board and swears. “You okay there, Danno?”

“Lucky guess,” Danny mumbles even as he grabs a serviette from the holder in the middle of the table to wipe his answer away. 

“One down, nine to go, boss man,” Kono says with a smile. “Okay, Max. You wanna go next?”

“It would be my pleasure,” the medical examiner says. “Commander McGarrett, as you may or may not have seen, there is a scar on Detective William’s left hip approximately four inches long. If not vetoed, I’d like you to tell us when, where and how the Detective acquired that scar.”

Everyone looks to Danny who shrugs and says, “No objection, Max. He doesn’t know about that one.” All faces turn to Steve who also shrugs and grabs the serviette off Danny to clean his own whiteboard before he starts writing. This shocks the blond man who starts scribbling on his own board. 

“And, reveal,” says Max when both men seem to be done writing. 

_In 1990, crashed my bike and got thrown into a barbed wire fence_ , says Danny’s whiteboard. 

_Barbed wire, bike accident, Danny @ 14_ , says Steve’s. 

“For fuck’s sake. Who told you?” His partner demands. 

_Your sister, Stella_ , Steve thinks but doesn’t voice. His silence and self-satisfied smirk draws a laugh from their ohana. 

“Congratulations, Commander. I should not have doubted you,” says Max as he inclines his head in apology. 

“That’s okay Max, you’ll know better next time,” Steve replies with a wink even as he takes a long sip from his first free beer, courtesy of Kamekona. 

“Okay, I’ve got one.” 

And so it continues, the team acting like pitchers, lobbing questions at Steve who keeps knocking them out of the park. Danny’s first kiss, Danny’s shoe size, his favorite subject at school, even how and where Danny’s mother and father met. With each correct answer, the team’s laughter grows louder even as Danny’s disbelief makes him quieter. At one point, Steve considers getting an answer wrong on purpose, but he doesn't know if it’s his ego which hates him falling short of perfect, or his desire to prove how wrong the Danny of two years ago, the Danny who had accused Steve of not paying close attention to him, was, that prevents him deliberately getting a question wrong.

But a part of Steve grows concerned at Danny’s quietude. He knows it’s not because Danny is worried about soon being a hundred dollars short because they’re far too used to paying for each other to keep a check and balance of who owes who what. No matter who wins, they know the money will be blown on their favorite steak restaurant the next time they go for dinner, just the two of them, with the winner picking up the bill for both. 

So if it’s not the money that’s causing the silence, it must be because despite everything they’ve experienced together, Danny still truly believes that Steve doesn’t pay attention to him, doesn’t listen to, and remember every little thing Danny has shared with Steve over the years. During boring stake-outs, long car journeys, over the hundreds of conversations they’ve had over a thousand dinners and lunches, breakfasts and coffees. And for this chance to prove Danny wrong, to get this mistaken idea out of his head, Steve will forever be grateful to Kono for this game, even if there must be an agenda that he hasn't yet figured out.

Because even if it freaks Danny out just how well Steve knows him, he rather that, than have Danny continue thinking for even a moment longer that Steve doesn’t care enough to know him, down to the most useless tidbit of information that makes up one Daniel D. Williams. 

“Okay, last one, question number ten,” Kono says. “For a hundred dollars, and another beer from me…” Kono pauses here to allow Chin, Lou, and Max to thump their hands on the table in a mock drum roll, “... who does Danny love most of all?” She adds with a wide grin except Danny is already waving his pen back and forth. 

“No, veto, veto, veto, the answer’s obvious, come on,’ Danny says, and Steve has to agree, although something tells him that they’ve finally arrived at the destination that Kono was hoping to get them to under this ruse of a game. 

“That’s true, but I didn’t finish my question,” Kono replied, “The full question is: who does Danny love most of all who is NOT a blood relative? So no Grace, no Charlie, no parents or siblings allowed.”

Steve freezes for the first time since the game began, the answer not immediately springing to mind. He knows the answer he wants it to be, but not what the answer actually is. 

He knows Danny loves them all, he knows that he considers the team family, as ohana. But he couldn’t say if Danny loved Kono more than Chin, Steve more than Lou. 

One obvious answer would be Melissa, except Danny had told him last week that that relationship was officially over. But then, Danny had loved Rachel long after the divorce had been finalized and she’d married another man, so it could still be Melissa. Or could it be Rachel, even after all this time, even after Rachel hid Charlie from Danny for three whole years?

He draws a straight vertical line, letting his instinct guide him into making it either an R or an M when Danny’s voice pierces his thoughts.

“No, no, I’m still invoking my right of veto. Ask him another question, Kono,” Danny demands and for a moment Steve expects Kono to push Danny on his reason why, especially considering it must be obvious by now that Steve hasn’t rushed to answer the question as he has with all questions previously, but Kono lets it go.

“Fine. Steve, tell us the name of the last film that made Danny cry.”

Steve grins. He’s got a whole page dedicated to films that have made Danny cry in his notebook, starting with Enemy Mine. 

Three words later, and Steve is the winner of a hundred dollars and enough free drinks for the next three team outings. 

The evening ends there and less than half an hour later, Danny is pulling into Steve’s driveway as the designated driver for that evening, having already dropped Lou off back to his home. 

The ride is quiet, but it doesn't cause alarm bells to ring in Steve's mind. He and Danny may have a lot of arguments in the car but they also are comfortable sitting in silence, especially when it's the end of the evening, a weekend ahead of them, and no open cases on their desk that needs to be hashed out. 

But what does surprise Steve is when Danny twists the key in the ignition and turns off the engine when they pull up in front of Steve's front door. He'd assumed Danny would want to head straight home and go to bed since he has to pick up Grace and Charlie in the morning. 

"You wanna come in for a nightcap, buddy? Think I've got some of that decaf coffee that you like."

"No,” his partner replies, looking out of the windshield. 

"Okay…,” Steve replies, turning his head to peer at his partner. “You alright, Danno?"

"Not really."

"What's wrong?"

"You know a lot about me,” Danny states, glancing at Steve. 

"Yeah… we've been partners for six years Danno. I do listen when you speak,” Steve says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of his voice. 

"But you didn't know the answer to Kono's question." They both know what question Danny is referring to.

"I think I do, I just wasn't a hundred percent sure and you vetoed before I could make up my mind."

"You were wrong."

"How would you know? I hadn't written anything."

"You were either going to write Rachel or Melissa." 

"Yeah, okay, I was. So what? Who else would it be?"

"You are such an idiot. How can you know the name of my first-grade teacher and my shoe size and not know who I love most after my kids?" Danny's words are calmly spoken, all things considered, but one look in his eyes is enough for Steve to see that his partner is genuinely upset. Before he can even begin to fathom who is so important in Danny's life that he has missed, Danny is out of the car and circling around the front to open the passenger door and next thing Steve knows he is being hauled out with his body being used to shut the door against which he is then pressed, Danny's hands gripping the lapels of his shirt. 

"Danny?"

"You're not messing with me? You genuinely don't know the answer?"

"Danny-," Steve begins but is silenced by Danny pressing him harder against the car. 

"Fine. Round two. Double or nothing. I ask the questions. Okay?"

"Okay," Steve agrees, although at this point he would have agreed to just about anything because this Danny is freaking him out and making him think he'll need to add a new category in his Danno notebook titled 'Scary Danny'.

"Okay. I'll go easy on you. First question, true or false: Danny Williams loves Steve McGarrett."

Steve rolls his eyes, even though he's glad that his normal Danny seems to be returning. "True." As if Steve doesn't have a running list of all the times Danny has told him he loves him, starting from the first time, when they'd been freed from the parking garage that had fallen on top of them. 

"Good, correct. Number two, a bit harder now. True or false again: Danny Williams loves Steve McGarrett more than he loves anyone else in this world, other than his kids."

Steve rolls his eyes. "False," he says with confidence, not missing the fact that Danny hasn't included his parents and siblings in the list, and the entire world knows that at heart, Danny is a momma's boy. 

Except his response earns him being pulled away from the car and then pushed back, the thump loud in the quiet of the night. 

"Bzzz. Try again," Danny says, his eyes serious. "I'll give you another go."

Steve blinks, unable to comprehend fully what Danny has just implied. "T-true...?" 

"Once more, with feeling. Go on, where's the cocky confident SuperSeal gone?"

"True," Steve repeats after clearing his throat, his eyes boring into Danny's to see where the joke is.

"Okay, the last question, this one's the hardest: Danny Williams loves Steve McGarrett more than he has ever loved a friend and more than he has ever loved anyone he has been in a relationship with, including the woman he married. True or False?"

There is no humor in Danny's eyes. In fact, what Steve can now read is fear and nerves, even as Danny's voice remains steady, his face calm, even though Steve is sure Danny can feel his partner's heart thumping away at a hundred beats per minute. 

Instead, there is silence. 

Taking silence as Steve's answer, Danny begins to step back, his hands loosening their grip from around Steve's shirt except that is the opposite of what Steve wants, what Steve needs. So letting his actions speak for him, he reaches out and grips Danny by the nape of his neck, stopping his backward motion and before Danny can protest Steve is closing the gap between their mouths, his lips capturing Danny's in a soft kiss. 

Danny is motionless in his arms and after a minute that could just as well have been an eternity, Steve steps back, but not before he gently traces Danny's bottom lip with his tongue. 

"True, please tell me the answer to that question is true," he whispers, even as he presses his forehead against Danny's, their breaths mixing in the inch of space between their open panting mouths, Steve’s hand still wrapped around the back of Danny’s neck. 

Steve doesn't need to see Danny's face to hear the smile in his voice as he replies, "It's been true for years, you idiot. I told you, you don't pay close enough attention to me."

The growl that emanates from deep within Steve's chest surprises them both, but Steve recovers first and grabbing Danny by the hand, he starts pulling his partner in the direction of the house. 

"Hey! Where we going?" Danny asks in a loud whisper, mindful of the hour, even as Steve feels not even an iota of resistance as he pulls his partner up the steps of the porch, his free hand reaching into his pocket for his keys before he yanks Danny and presses him against the front door before leaning forward and capturing Danny's lips again. 

" _We_ are going inside, and _I_ am going to show _you_ just how much attention I pay to you," Steve replies when Danny finally allows him to step back, but not without a hint of teeth pulling at his bottom lip. "Understood?"

"Understood," Danny confirms with a smile. 

Early the next morning, Steve creeps out of bed without making a sound and grabs his boxers from where they landed last night, slips them on and heads downstairs to the study, but not before one last lingering look at the sleeping form of his partner taking up most of Steve's bed. 

Grabbing the notebook from its current hiding place, Steve opens it up to the first blank page and starts adding new categories. 

**Author's Note:**

> For the bullet-journal fans amongst you, that's the notebook method Steve is using. Also, I highly recommend you watch the deleted scene from [6x09 which is the giraffe scene](https://stellagioia.tumblr.com/post/167206386093/steve-i-know-everything-about-you-mcgarrett). 
> 
> As always, your kudos and comments make my day. If you would like to send me any prompts to keep me busy this summer, I'm on tumblr as [dreambrother89](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dreambrother89)
> 
> I'll be hoping to update my WIPs next week, see you then!


End file.
